The essence of politeness
Shigekatsu Yamauchi / Special to The Daily Yomiuri
People say Japanese is indirect and more polite than English. I disagree--all people everywhere have a need to be indirect and polite in communication. Every language has polite ways of saying things; it's just that each language achieves this universal goal differently. Let's compare English and Japanese approaches to politeness.
English-native children are taught by their parents to use "please" when asking for things, to be polite. I recall that when I learned English at school, we were taught that the subjunctive mood ("could," "would," etc.) makes sentences more polite. Compare:
(1) Will you come here tomorrow?
(2) Will you please come here tomorrow?
(3) Would you please come here tomorrow?
(4) Can you help me?
(5) Can you please help me?
(6) Could you please help me?
All natives will agree--I am quite sure--that (2) and (5) are more polite than (1) and (4), respectively, because of the "please." Additionally, (3) and (6) are even more polite than (2) and (5), respectively, because of "would" and "could." But why? What does "please" actually mean? Are "would" and "could" polite forms?
"Please" is generally explained as a contraction of "if you please." By adding "if you please," requests become more polite because the counterpart is described as having more choice; in other words, the speaker is not imposing things upon the counterpart unilaterally.
How about "would" and "could"--are they polite forms? Describing them as such is obviously not 100 percent accurate, because "would" and "could" are used in many ways which have nothing to do with politeness, such as:
(i) I could not agree more.
(ii) I would not dare say such a thing.
(iii) I wish you could come.
To clear this up we need a little grammatical background. The subjunctive mood in English always assumes a certain condition which is either untrue, impossible or extremely unlikely. Therefore, the above three example sentences can be restated in full as follows:
(i) Even if I wanted to agree more strongly, I could not.
(ii) If I were you (which is impossible), I would not dare say such a thing.
(iii) I wish you could come although I know you cannot.
Returning to our first examples of politeness we can now see that examples (3) and (6) make certain assumptions:
(3) Would you please come here tomorrow, should it be possible for you?
(6) Could you please help me, if you would not mind?
These unspoken assumptions imply careful consideration for the counterpart. I think you can see now how it is that the subjunctive mood allows English speakers to be polite by being indirect. What about Japanese?
1. Vagueness
When buying, say, three pieces of cake, a polite Japanese lady might say "Mittsu hodo kudasai" (About three of them, please). This vagueness allows the shop to escape embarrassment if it does not have three of the cakes, and the lady's care and consideration shine through.
2. Raise the counterpart
When referring to the deeds of a counterpart, you raise that person up by using an honorific-polite verb or form. This way, you hold the person in a socially elevated position relative to you. It is the linguistic creation of a dais. Just as the high-ranking person stands on an elevated stage, Japanese has an instrument to give this effect. For example, by saying "Asu irasshaimasu" (lit. Coming will honorably occur tomorrow), any listeners know that the speaker means "He/she/they will come," never "I will come."
3. Downgrade yourself
Another way to be polite to a counterpart is by downgrading yourself. Think of meeting Queen Elizabeth--one kneels down or lowers oneself. This makes the Queen look higher, among other things, and demonstrates her authority. In Japanese, by saying "Asu mairimasu" (lit. Coming will humbly occur tomorrow), you are in fact saying "I/we'll come tomorrow."
In terms of degrees of politeness, both English and Japanese have many gradations. In asking someone to come, how many ways can you think of?
-- Please come.
-- Will you come?
-- I want you to come.
-- I'd like you to come.
-- Would you please come?
-- I'll be happy if you can come.
-- I'd be most pleased if you can come.
I'm sure you can think of many other alternatives, too.
Likewise, Japanese versions include:
-- Kitekudasai.
-- Kitekudasaimasen ka?
-- Kitehoshii n desu.
-- Irasshattekudasai.
-- Irasshattekudasaimasen ka?
-- Irasshatteitadakitai no desu ga.
-- Kitekudasaru to ureshii no desu ga.
-- Irasshitekudasareba arigatai no desu kedo...
Surely there are many, many other alternatives. In both languages, by including regional differences and historical patterns there would surely be an almost countless number of different forms.
When looking at both languages, one thing that is for sure is that the longer the pattern, the more polite it is. The reason is simple: increased effort equals increased politeness.
Another common feature is that questions sound more polite than commands. This is because questions give the counterpart choice while commands are basically unilateral.
One thing we notice in Japanese patterns is that sentences are not always completed but are left hanging, as in: "I'd be happier if you can come, but..." This tactic shows that you are open to your counterpart's position.
Whatever the language, the bottom line is that politeness means allowing room for the counterpart, and not making unilateral demands. This is the essence of politeness.
Yamauchi is president of the International Communication Institute and a Cornell University-trained Japanese-language teacher.
@:
(Nov. 20, 2007)
Shigekatsu Yamauchi / Special to The Daily Yomiuri
People say Japanese is indirect and more polite than English. I disagree--all people everywhere have a need to be indirect and polite in communication. Every language has polite ways of saying things; it's just that each language achieves this universal goal differently. Let's compare English and Japanese approaches to politeness.
English-native children are taught by their parents to use "please" when asking for things, to be polite. I recall that when I learned English at school, we were taught that the subjunctive mood ("could," "would," etc.) makes sentences more polite. Compare:
(1) Will you come here tomorrow?
(2) Will you please come here tomorrow?
(3) Would you please come here tomorrow?
(4) Can you help me?
(5) Can you please help me?
(6) Could you please help me?
All natives will agree--I am quite sure--that (2) and (5) are more polite than (1) and (4), respectively, because of the "please." Additionally, (3) and (6) are even more polite than (2) and (5), respectively, because of "would" and "could." But why? What does "please" actually mean? Are "would" and "could" polite forms?
"Please" is generally explained as a contraction of "if you please." By adding "if you please," requests become more polite because the counterpart is described as having more choice; in other words, the speaker is not imposing things upon the counterpart unilaterally.
How about "would" and "could"--are they polite forms? Describing them as such is obviously not 100 percent accurate, because "would" and "could" are used in many ways which have nothing to do with politeness, such as:
(i) I could not agree more.
(ii) I would not dare say such a thing.
(iii) I wish you could come.
To clear this up we need a little grammatical background. The subjunctive mood in English always assumes a certain condition which is either untrue, impossible or extremely unlikely. Therefore, the above three example sentences can be restated in full as follows:
(i) Even if I wanted to agree more strongly, I could not.
(ii) If I were you (which is impossible), I would not dare say such a thing.
(iii) I wish you could come although I know you cannot.
Returning to our first examples of politeness we can now see that examples (3) and (6) make certain assumptions:
(3) Would you please come here tomorrow, should it be possible for you?
(6) Could you please help me, if you would not mind?
These unspoken assumptions imply careful consideration for the counterpart. I think you can see now how it is that the subjunctive mood allows English speakers to be polite by being indirect. What about Japanese?
1. Vagueness
When buying, say, three pieces of cake, a polite Japanese lady might say "Mittsu hodo kudasai" (About three of them, please). This vagueness allows the shop to escape embarrassment if it does not have three of the cakes, and the lady's care and consideration shine through.
2. Raise the counterpart
When referring to the deeds of a counterpart, you raise that person up by using an honorific-polite verb or form. This way, you hold the person in a socially elevated position relative to you. It is the linguistic creation of a dais. Just as the high-ranking person stands on an elevated stage, Japanese has an instrument to give this effect. For example, by saying "Asu irasshaimasu" (lit. Coming will honorably occur tomorrow), any listeners know that the speaker means "He/she/they will come," never "I will come."
3. Downgrade yourself
Another way to be polite to a counterpart is by downgrading yourself. Think of meeting Queen Elizabeth--one kneels down or lowers oneself. This makes the Queen look higher, among other things, and demonstrates her authority. In Japanese, by saying "Asu mairimasu" (lit. Coming will humbly occur tomorrow), you are in fact saying "I/we'll come tomorrow."
In terms of degrees of politeness, both English and Japanese have many gradations. In asking someone to come, how many ways can you think of?
-- Please come.
-- Will you come?
-- I want you to come.
-- I'd like you to come.
-- Would you please come?
-- I'll be happy if you can come.
-- I'd be most pleased if you can come.
I'm sure you can think of many other alternatives, too.
Likewise, Japanese versions include:
-- Kitekudasai.
-- Kitekudasaimasen ka?
-- Kitehoshii n desu.
-- Irasshattekudasai.
-- Irasshattekudasaimasen ka?
-- Irasshatteitadakitai no desu ga.
-- Kitekudasaru to ureshii no desu ga.
-- Irasshitekudasareba arigatai no desu kedo...
Surely there are many, many other alternatives. In both languages, by including regional differences and historical patterns there would surely be an almost countless number of different forms.
When looking at both languages, one thing that is for sure is that the longer the pattern, the more polite it is. The reason is simple: increased effort equals increased politeness.
Another common feature is that questions sound more polite than commands. This is because questions give the counterpart choice while commands are basically unilateral.
One thing we notice in Japanese patterns is that sentences are not always completed but are left hanging, as in: "I'd be happier if you can come, but..." This tactic shows that you are open to your counterpart's position.
Whatever the language, the bottom line is that politeness means allowing room for the counterpart, and not making unilateral demands. This is the essence of politeness.
Yamauchi is president of the International Communication Institute and a Cornell University-trained Japanese-language teacher.
@:
(Nov. 20, 2007)